Herbivore: Top of the Food Chain
by RoyallyMadHatter
Summary: Dino and Hibari have a death match. Really. D18. (YAOI/BOYxBOY) (Rated M for violence, profanity, adult themes and yaoi-ness) (Oneshot)


"Baby, you still alive?" Dino's ringing voice echoes in the hallway.

"Get out of my school, Cavallone." Hibari sneers and he keeps his back against the wall. He hears Dino's laughter and decides that he hates it. Again.

"This is the part where we kiss, make up and have super hot sex. You're gonna miss it if you don't come out, babe." Dino licks his lips.

"Then put away the gun, herbivore." Hibari sniffs the air and excessive gun powder alerts him that once again, Bucking Horse is a liar. Why is he not surprised.

"You first, honey!" Dino reloads his gun noisily and instinctively knows that Hibari is scowling. Meanwhile, Hibari looks down at his machine gun and sighs.

"I'll bite you to death." Hibari mutters and somehow from all the way down the hallway, Dino hears him.

"Kinky." Dino replies, blowing a kiss.

"God, just roll over and die already." Hibari points the gun around the corner and shoots. He hears Dino make a noise. That one second of hope is short-lived.

"Ow, you almost shot my dic- fuck what the hell Kyouya! If you ruin that part, how am I supposed to top?!" Dino shouts clutching his thigh. Little did he know that ten years later, he wouldn't be the top anymore.

But of course - ten years wasn't going to happen because this was a death match. Not a live-for-ten-more-years match.

"Why aren't you tripping all over yourself, Cavallone?" Hibari retorts while reloading his gun. Dino's men-in-black goons weren't anywhere to be found.

"I keep a photo album of my buddies in my pocket." Dino says cheerily and Hibari regrets doing this _fool_.

"Really? And I thought you were stupid enough alrea-"

_Crash!_ Dino's whip slashes Hibari in the face, and he rushes into a classroom.

"Not _really_. It's just different when I'm with you." Dino chuckles as he pulls his whip back into a circle. It almost sounds endearing.

"Boohoo, loverboy at his finest. I'm in tears. Seriously." Hibari kicks the gun away from Dino and lands a blow at the other's hip. The whip wraps around his wrist and reels him in. Hibari kicks off of Dino's chest and lands smoothly onto a table. Dino is unfazed.

"You're supposed to accept my loving disposition and decide that you'll save me from my fate to become the boss I don't want to be. That's why when you're almost dead, you'll still love me." Dino snickers when Hibari aims a tonfa at his chest. He dodges this time.

"No wait - even better! You'll notice how amazingly charming I am when I decide to risk my life for my family and eventually use herbivore as my pet name in bed!" Dino dodges the chains ejected from aforementioned tonfas.

"Maybe I skipped to the bed thing too quickly. You become annoyed at me - well, you're always annoyed at me BUT this will be special annoyed-because-you-secretly-care-about-me -"

"Disgusting." Hibari lands a hit on Dinos cheek, and Dino sends the whip onto Hibari's arm. Wiping the blood from his mouth, Dino almost looks serious. Then a grin spreads across his face.

"Ah! You try to leave and then I go 'don't go, my love'!" Dino dodges the flying desk.

"But then I go anyway and you die old and lonely. End." Hibari lunges towards Dino and pins him against the wall with both tonfas to his neck. He feels the whip wrap around his neck and choke him.

While they're both running out of air, they push forward to kiss each other and the world explodes, along with all of their bittersweet memories.

.

...

...

Hibari presses his hand into the pillow next to Dino's head.

"Kyouya?" Dino plays with the deep dark strands of hair that make a beautiful curtain around Hibari's face, while basking in afterglow.

"I have a thought." He murmurs, kneeing Dino's legs apart from underneath the blanket. Dino cringes.

"Unfortunate. But yes, do go on." Dino lets his wrists get pinned above him.

"A parallel world from ten years ago, where you and I have a death match." Hibari blows Dino's bangs away from his face. Dino's eyes flutter.

"We both die and I _never_ get to top."

"Huh?"

"I'll have to make up for it in this world, don't I?"

* * *

LOL WHAT. I have no idea where this came from but I've been thinking about this pairing for a while so hey why not.

Hey, is it weird that I used to think D18 was like a warning. RATED D18 KAY

Top of the Food Chain _TO BE EATEN BY HIBARI._ okay. done.

My OTP is probably Byakuran x Irie but yo this is a close second.

XD omg Hibari is so difficult to write. How to make him feel without like. feeling. PFFT

HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY TWISTED D18 KUFUFUFU


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